When I ponder about life and try to discern who I am, what I am here for, and what is my purpose, or even define that purpose; one thing I gather for sure is that no matter who I am, what I am here for, what is my purpose, or how finely defined my purpose is, “this journey is about me”.
I love my children with all my being. Being a mother has probably granted me the biggest and deepest form of love. However, it is important to be realistic and know that even if my life affects theirs in a great way, my life is about my journey, about me.
Does that mean that I now have to become selfish?
No! Not at all. This newfound awareness does not serve the purpose of opening the door to selfishness or to become unkind to others. It means that now when you give of yourself, you are more aware that you are doing so as part of your personal journey. My choices good or bad can affect others, but primarily they affect my personal experience. A lot of my choices and consequences are lived physically and sometimes re-lived by my brain, my thinking, and my inner quality of life; all summarized through my “inner-dialogue”.
I live inside my brain 24 hours a day, every day.
My life is experienced inside my brain 24 hours a day, every day. The notion of becoming aware of my personal journey is for me to experience a higher degree of freedom when I make choices, or when life brings circumstances that are hard to experience and go through.
For example, my father had Alzheimer’s and though we are three children, I was the only one who could take care of him. The experience was very traumatizing to me, especially because my dad was an angry abusive person while I was growing up. Also, because I had to take care of him after not seeing him for 10 years. Ten years he did not want to see me. I knock his door several times through those years, and asked him to please see me, forgive me for whatever I had done, which he did not make clear to me; yet to no avail.
Today, six years after his demise, I am still working on the pain of that relationship and the scars it left imprinted in me. However, now I understand more and more that it was part of my personal journey. It was the experience that mixed with my particular personality traits and the rest of my environment was going to shape me into who I am today.
When I think that the hard things that I have gone through in my life so far, have helped me grow into a better, kinder, more compassionate, and thoughtful me. I can clearly see a better version of myself. I can now let go of the anger and pain of having felt like a prisoner of painful circumstances. I can choose to let go of feeling like a victim and experience more peace within me. It was about my journey. It was not a punishment or about God leaving me alone. “Whoever is He who is giving me this breath and my next breath has never once left me alone.”
It is all about you and your journey!
Embrace your life. Find purpose, and value in every breath you take. Experience your personal journey with the best love and peace you know how to experience today. Towards you and toward the people in your world.
If you understand that all you are experiencing in your personal journey, is building you and helping you evolve, you will definitely “stop being a victim to become a victor!”
When you embrace your journey in awareness, you will definitely act more than react to life because it is not about the small picture of today’s difficulty, but the larger picture of a full life well lived and experienced. It is about how you have been shaped throughout your personal journey called life. You do have a say in it. Life may come at you sometimes, but you always have a choice in directing where the experience leads you.
I wish you the very best with love, hope, and peace for your beautiful experience, the gift granted, your personal journey.