Yes! That is part of life for us all. Sometimes, my heart is filled with sadness. There is nothing I can do to avoid the pain. What I do with this pain is what will give direction to my day, week, month, or even life.
What I am about to share with you did not come from a book I read, but from my own pain. This is what I have learned and how I deal with it. I trust that this information and guide will help you deal with your pain in a healthy way, where it will not swallow your life, but instead you will grow from it, increasing awareness, balance and joy as you practice these principles.
We are belief-system, pattern-following, discerning beings.
We human beings need each other and either lead or are lead, but we affect each other in every possible way. I know this is a very strong and broad thought, however, this is, in short, who we are. It is great to have a foundational understanding of who we are and how we function in order to make conscious decisions to direct our lives in the best possible way.
Emotional pain can come from so many different places, whether it is the loss of a loved one, sickness, abandonment, discrimination, joblessness, fear, loneliness, being misunderstood, or any other happening in your life. This will sometimes create weakness in your emotional and mental state.
Can anyone avoid it? No, but…
Pain is part of the set of emotions a human being has. There is no way around it. We can experience it in a diversity of forms, for a vast variety of reason. Yet, we can find a system in which, when applied, these emotions will catapult us into a better us, into a game changer, or even a great example for others to follow.
Though this is something I can help you overcome one on one as a Life Coach, I want to give you tools so that you can work on yourself, starting now.
Pain does not have to take your joy and life away forever. Pain does not have to live inside of you for long periods of time.
Mourning does have a process of its own. I will write about it in another segment.
It is important to mindfully go through this period to come out on the other side of this tunnel and enjoy again. However, for most causes of pain in life, we can come out on the other side of the tunnel rather fast, when we see the light that will guide our steps there. Pain can make you feel blinded, but when you understand what is happening to you and its process, this pain will have a purpose and not swallow your life.
The “little big” formula to quit being stuck on pain
1- Stop asking “why?”. This will only stunt your walk into freedom from this emotion. This question will not change the fact that something has happened that caused you pain.
2- Take a moment to take a deep breath and think about what you actually feel. Write it down, say it out loud, sing it or draw it. This is the beginning of healing.
3- Make the conscious decision that you want to get over this emotion.
4- Every time you start thinking of this pain, “Why me?”, “How?”, “It’s unfair”, or any negative thought that will keep you trapped in this experience, take quick action. Change the thought for a positive one, like: “Can I learn anything from this happening or pain?”, “Let me change my perspective and evaluate this again.”, or ” I choose not to be stuck on pain. I will do something positive for myself.”
5- Change scenery, if you can. Go for a walk, dance, put music on, or use your imagination where you visualize yourself experiencing joy and freedom.
6- Do something pro-active that will help you feel good with yourself. If you believe in God or pursue a faith or religion, seek God with this pain, pray for strength to overcome it, and pray for others too. Read the Bible for hope and insight.
7- Help someone. When we help someone else in need, you remove yourself from your situation and mental state. It is a blessing for others, and a great tool for you.
8- Remember your value, which is the same value I have and everyone else has. This value is not based on your mistakes, your strengths or weaknesses, but on the fact that you are a living, breathing human being with a world of opportunities for change and growth.
I hope and pray these tools will work for you as well as they work for me and my clients.
With much love,