Yes! Men do have feelings too.
This is something I would like to address. Today’s society caters to women much more than they do to men, in most social issues and gender needs. There are all sorts of ministries, centers for abused women, businesses and entities that address women needs. That is absolutely needed and as a woman and a mother myself, I am most grateful for it.
However, there isn’t much available for men. I have 4 sons and because of that my attention goes to men a lot. I think about their emotional needs, their inner growth, their futures and opportunities. I also think of healthy expectations of them. My children are all pretty grown up. Their ages range from 19 to 28 years old.
As a girl I grew up with a father who was angry, not communicative or expressive; and many times aggressive. My mother was afraid of his reactions and there wasn’t much communication, except for fear (whether verbal communication or body language) How do we manage so that dad will not find out or see what we did wrong, etc. Those would be the questions in our minds. Therefore I did not learn how to relate to men very well.
I got married to a man who in terms of communication was pretty much like my dad. After we got divorced I was left with a pre-teen, a 4 and 6 year old boys. I learned how to relate to men through raising them and communicating with them. For the most part I have learned how men think and feel through my amazing boys. Years of dedication and communication with them, through everything they would go through. It is important to point out that we still learn about each other as our communication skills continue to grow and our relationships develop. There is always room for improvement.
This lead me to realized how much we expect from men and how little we support them.
We are no longer living in the era of “boys do not cry”, yet society still expect them not to show emotions and hold it. I say we pretty much behave toward them in the same fashion as we did 50 years ago.
Socially men are not supposed to cry. If they are emotional they are looked at wrong. As if they are weak or less manly. If they make requests, we women in general tend to work hard at doing things the way we want to. I am not talking about your or me. I am not pointing fingers. I am merely talking about what is happening today in general with a lot of people. As we women have gained terrain, sometimes we go to extremes were men are not valued properly.
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We need to take a moment to think about men.
Men and women were designed differently for procreation and for different basic jobs. We were not designed to battle against each other or to mistreat each other, but to complement, love and protect each other.God make us different so that we could complement each other on the difficult tasks of life.
I believe men are being misunderstood, and as much as there are guys who do not get involved with their children after divorce ,and as much as there are guys who are violent. The vast majority of men are loving, dedicated fathers and loving husbands. Moreover, most of those men who act wrong, would act better if they had someone who can understand their emotions and who could guide them to be their best. There should be as many support groups for men as there are for women. I want to see men having more growth and healing opportunities. We all human beings need it and deserve it, regardless of gender.
In honor of all the man in my life.
With much love,
Alicia Yombalakian