It’s so funny how when there are changes on Facebook, we feel weird. Some people complain saying things like: “I do not like it this change. I want the old way back. I was so used to it.” However, we all quickly adjust to the new settings, the new look and we no longer question the change, we no longer experience any difference. It feels normal again rather quickly. We go on with our lives as if Facebook had not changed at all.
The same happens when Yahoo or other internet commodity changes their look or settings. Yet, when a change happens in our personal lives. this process does not go as smooth. We are still experiencing the discomfort of having to see, feel and or do something differently than what we were used to. We are moving away from our known or comfort zone.
Whether we move homes, towns, schools, jobs, get divorce, get married or need to eat differently because of health issues, we go through the process of “The Fear Of Change”
For some people this process does not feel so difficult and for others it does. Yet, understanding the mechanics of how change affects me will be greatly beneficial for all future changes; as we would have reacquired awareness.
I believe the difference between getting used to changes outside of ourselves and the changes have take place from the inside out, is that one is non-personal, maybe masses of people go through that change at the same time and the change is non-invasive to our daily lives as a personal change would.
I would like to draw from this example a question. If you can get adjusted to a general change social media makes, why don’t you use the same thoughts, understanding and actions to adjust to change in your personal life?
The thoughts or language we use for specific happenings in our lives are dictated by our belief system, thought process and expectations about it.
Examples:
1- Non-personal change: A new social media icon shows up, you sigh up and learn how to use it. It can get frustrating because it is new to you and you are not used to it.
2– Personal change: A new employee is hired and he seats on a desk next to you. You need to get to know this new person, interact and help him through the training process.
They are both adjustments you need to make in your life. However, large or small, if you want to use the new social media page, you will have to get used to their system. As well, if you want to keep your job, you need to get used to a new person sharing your space 8 hours a day.
Again, the difference between them is that example#1 is not personal and example#2 it is.
“Your Belief System Dictates Your Expectations”
The way you see, believe, perceive and understand your surroundings and your what you experience, creates a belief system and most certainly an expectation. According to these expectations you will react or consciously act. In every instance of your life you have preset expectations.
You may experience joy when your expectation is joyful, sad, angry or fearful when that particular expectation is set. This is for the most part, the reason why a person experiences fear of change. SInce the expectation is already set to a tone that says: ” I have done this before and I experienced discomfort, anxiety or even fear as I transitioned into a new surrounding, new job, new people or new way of doing things.
Once you understand what you are experiencing and why, you will find that you have more open options to make conscious decisions that will make transition easier.
It is important to mention that the decisions we make which pursue actions are very important. However, the thoughts that you harbor all day every day are of utmost importance since they shape every belief system and therefore, decisions. Therefore, paying attention to your thoughts and correcting the fearful thought with a peaceful or courageous thought, the anxious thought with a peaceful one or the hapless thought with a hopeful one. In short you can achieve inner change by paying attention to your thoughts and changing the negative for positive ones.
For examples:
Negative thought: I can’t start over at another job. I am afraid of what kind of people I will find. Positive thought: I can do this. I have done it before. I am sure i will find interesting people in my new experience.
“Your new normal. Embrace it!”
There are some things you just cannot change, however, there are things that only you can change. You might not have the opportunity to quit your job before you have a new one, but you have the power to take daily walks and relax. You might not have the power to heal someone, but you do have the power to make a difference in their lives with your love.
With much love,
Alicia Yombalakian