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It Is Never To Late to Start Again.

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Have you ever find yourself in that ugly place, where doors are closed for you? Have you tried to pursue or achieve something so much, but it just does not seem to happen? I have surely been in that place. Maybe that is why I call it “ugly” because I have experienced it. In fact there is a part of  my life where I am still experiencing it.

There is a typical process we go through when we are in that place.  We go through a cycle of hope, we try, we imagine, but it fails. It seems an impossible.

You then get sad or feel down for a while. However, as it is natural in life, you go on with life and put that desire aside or in the back burner, until the next time for some reason your deep desire resurfaces. At which point  you will go through this cycle again?

It is hard. Sometimes it is a terribly hard cycle to go through. Depending on what you are seeking, sometimes, it will be heart breaking.

This is the reason I am writing about this today. It is for you and for me.  “I want to remind us to not give up.”  

I acknowledge that some things are just not meant to be. I agree. However, when do you accept that as a fact? When do you move on?  It is very personal.

I say let’s not give up on that dream, that desired, that hope, or that purpose easily. Instead, let’s pursue and pursue until somehow it either works or until you get the “full realization” that it is not for you.

Just do not take the easy way out.

I know that I am using broad terms without examples that you may relate to right now, so I will share my experience as an example.  

I was born with what many people say is an amazing, powerful voice.  I have never had voice training lessons.  My father used to listen to jazz and opera records.  I used to sing along.  

I very vividly and painfully remember how once, a neighbor offered to pay for private voice lessons for me.  He would hear my opera singing from his house.

My father laughed and never took it seriously, He never recognized my voice or talents.

I was discovered in the street by an agent and became a model.  My intention was to sing.  A year after I finished modeling school my family came to here to the USA and I left everything behind.

Four years after that, I got married to a Kuwaiti national and lived there for many years in his country.  Again, my talent was never recognized.  I was actually instructed to be quiet and not sing loud because it was a shame for people to hear. I was in love.  I had put my burning desire in the back burner. I sang  in the care while I drove around whenever I was by myself.

I sadly got divorced 15 years ago. When that took place, I dedicated to work hard and raise my children on my own.  I am not sorry whatsoever about that.  However, I can tell you that as life took it’s course singing was out of the question. I barely survived financially to even phantom of a singing career.

About a year ago I was invited to a gathering where people sing, narrate poetry and share their talents with each other. A great group of amazing actors, singer and poets.

Every time I sing people comment on my voice and they always tell me: “I cannot believe you are not a professional singer.  You need to pursue”

Now, I am 53 years old. I have lost some of my voice range, I feel insecure and still have not been able to get training.  I am also pursuing my career as a Life Coach and a  motivational speaker.

Nevertheless, I am slowly pursuing my dream. I put one foot in front of the other and walk.  Doors are still closed, but I have turn up the heat of my back burner.  If it does not work, it will not be because I gave up, but because it was not meant to be.

How much will I invest of myself in this lifelong dream? For right now, I only turn up the heat on the back burner.  

My family and career are in the front burner.

It is up to you how you choose to develop this dream or desire, but I encourage you to find courage and pursue.  

Babies fall over and over until they walk straight.  They do not give up at the sight of failure. so please, don’t you do that either. Take on and take off. Life is a beautiful struggle, very worth living at it’s fullest.

 

Believe in yourself you deserve it.

 

With much love,
Alicia Yombalakian

 

Go with the flow. Is that the way to go?

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Go with the flow. Is that the way to go? 

 

Sometimes it is the best way to go.  Sometimes it is not.  Therefore, it cannot be used as a rule of thumb.

Because knowingly or unknowingly we need acceptance from other human beings ,and because we need to experience a sense of belonging; we many times go with the flow. Whether their flow goes along with our personality, taste and way of life or now. Therefore, many times our values are jeopardized.

Yet, we become blind and give in to be someone we are not in front of a particular person or a specific group of people. We compromise to not be left out, to fit in. Did you know that there is a price to pay every time you compromise?

The decision is always yours.

 

What you are compromising for might be less beneficial that what you are gaining.  Therefore, it is a great cause to compromise your values, traits of your personality, goals or personal desires. Say that you need to fit in at work, or be part of the “in group”.  I understand how hard it is to not fit in or be part of the cool group at work.

It may make your life hard, sometimes even “a living hell”. You may go unnoticed and your efforts and hard work might go unnoticed. It may cut your chances for growth within the company. This is very a personal decision, since you make a living at that job.  However, how much are you willing to compromise for it? For how long? Or, how much are you willing to suffer so that you do not compromise? If you find yourself in such situation, it might be time to try your best at work, while you seek new employment.

You can be confronted with situations where it is imperative for you to fit in and be part of… This can a happen at school, at church, in your neighborhood, etc.

Be aware of who they are before you pledge allegiance. 

 

If you are about to choose a business partner, for example. I would suggest to really know who that person is in a personal level before you open that door. Do you hold similar values? Is this person willing to compromise to healthy practices if needed?

Is this your boyfriend or girlfriend? These are important topics to discuss if you are looking for a long term relationship. If you deffer in how much you would compromise in an unhealthy way to fit in, that would be a strong discrepancy in your relationship.

Going with the flow may be a good thing if it is for a greater purpose, if it is to keep peace or a good relationship. Please, be aware every time you make choices that will affect your values and your value as a person

 

With much love,
Alicia Yombalakian

True Freedom

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True freedom lives inside of you. You are the only one who can define your freedom. You can have a great career, be healthy, have a lovely family and still be unhappy, have a fear filled life, feel insecure and not experience true freedom.

The most common one lack of freedom is being restrained from being able to come and go as you please or make your own decisions. Yet, the freedom of emotional bondage and broken emotions are the ones that take your joy away, your peace and most surely your freedom.

The Bible says that we are what we think and it is a great truth. There are people with conditions that maybe take their freedom of mobility, speech, hearing or sight, however, they live joyful, peaceful happy lives.

You could ask yourself. What do those people have that I don’t? Well, there are a number of things they have. Let me name a few:

A positive attitude.
Faith.
Inner strength.
Tolerance.
Hope.

I myself was a person with broken emotions due to a life of abuse. Physical abuse does not hurt your body as much as it hurts you emotions

Don’t Like Where Your Life Is Going?

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Don’t like where your life is going?

 

I have had that feeling so many times throughout my life. I don’t like where I am at in my life. Where it is going?  I want to change it, but…  I wish I could do things differently, but…
Many of those times I went with the flow and continued guiding my life, as if it belonged to someone else; as if other people’s choices were my only choice in life.

I do not believe I understood, really, from the inside out, that my life belonged to me, that whether someone made a choice for me or I made it myself, I would be the one living through [the] consequence of that choice.

How about you?  Have you been there?  Are you there right now?

 

Let me tell you that this is a very important point to ponder about. We tend to complain when we suffer the consequences of our own actions. Many times we just do what others do, or simply react rather than act. We are the ones that stay in an unhealthy relationship, or in a job with no future.

We are the ones compromising without really putting our personal value as a person or general values in a proper place. We are the ones that do not set boundaries.  Therefore, I want to invite you to take some time to think about where you are in life. Relationships, job, dreams, goals, etc. I would suggest that you write it all down and read and re-read your list. You will notice that tomorrow, you will find something new within the context of what you have written.

Act rather than react through life.

 

You can become aware of your actions and make a conscious decision the next time you are faced with choices.  When you take time to think or meditate on your values and your human value; as well as what boundaries are healthy and or acceptable for you, it will be so much easy to tap into that information in your brain.  

The next time you are faced with a broken boundary or an unhealthy behavior, you will be able to have this new information right fresh from a new folder in your brain and it will be much easier for you to choose consciously (act), rather than following a thoughtless behavior or acting instinctively (react).

Therefore, know that there is always a choice and that you have the right and the responsibility to take charge and give direction to your precious live. “You Matter”

With much love,
Alicia Yombalakian

Take Steps Toward Change

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We tend to expect the people around us and the systems that are in place in our lives (which we must follow) to change to our taste and liking. However, change can only take place when we ourselves change. When this happens the people in our lives and the world around us also catapults into change.

You can start a new trend!

Most times we feel and believe that people do things to us.

  • “He treated me this way. How unfair!”
  • “She misunderstood me. I feel broken.”
  • “They picked on me. I am being singled out.”

You probably ask yourself: “Why me? I give so much, I am not valued or cared for.”

Asking “Why me?” and being upset does not fix anything. It only causes you to regresses into a pit of anger, sadness, and even despair.  Yet, if you decide to change your ways, you will quickly develop hope.

In order to change you need to create a plan of action. 

The world around us reacts to us as we react to it. It also behaves according to our believe systems and expectations.

Let me give you some examples:

  • “Nothing works for me.”
  • “Nothing comes easy to me.”
  • “I am not good enough.”
  • “I can’t achieve much.”

We go through life as though good things cannot happen to us. Sometimes, we hang on to the wrong people, in unhealthy relationships, because of how low we value ourselves.

Change will come to you as you redefine your self-value.

According to that value, you will create a new set of boundaries that cannot be crossed. You will develop healthier self-talk, and better communication skills. You will experience more assertiveness and confidence.  Your healthier new-found self-value will be reflected on the inside and on the outside.

As people in your life see your manifested change, they will slowly adjust to it and treat you accordingly.  Know that when you just begin to work on yourself most likely people might not accept it. Other people might not notice it right away. At first they might react negatively toward your new behavior, since they do not understand what is happening. They are used to the old you. Do not worry. As you consistently continue to behave with your new acquired behavior, everyone around you will adjust and embrace that change.

Soon enough you will see that the mechanics of communication with people changes too. You will be treated differently and you might encourage others to want to find inner change as well.

You are now on your way to a better quality of life.

With much love,
Alicia Yombalakian

 

 

Juntos

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Juntos es una palabra muy usada. La utilizamos, sin duda, a la hora de explicar algo que hemos hecho o logrado con un grupo de personas.

Sin embargo, es importante tomar el tiempo para meditar y reflexionar sobre el verdadero significado de las palabras y lo que eso pueden dignificar para ti.  La meditación abre nuestras mentes y los corazones, Expande nuestros horizontes, cambian nuestras perspectivas y modifica nuestro proceso de pensamiento.

Por eso hoy quiero ampliar en la palabra “juntos”. Esta palabra se utiliza sobre todo como un adverbio, pero se puede utilizar como un adjetivo. Sin embargo, más importante que su significado gramatical, es la forma en que esta palabra puede ser usada para la mejora de la vida interior. Ahí es donde el verdadero cambio se lleva a cabo.

Se puede utilizar para expresar una conjunción o una unión, un esfuerzo colectivo, una ocurrencia simultánea, lo que está en la unidad y la compacidad. Tambien, lo que queda o es ininterrumpido.

Tomamos decisiones en base a lo que entendemos, lo que a su vez se convierte en lo que creemos.

Para mí, personalmente, la palabra “juntos” explica la unidad y colaboración que experimento con mis seres queridos. Me ayuda a sentirse parte de un grupo. También me hace reconocer y sentir que no estoy sola.

Reflexiona en esta palabra y decime. ¿Qué significa para ti?

 

Con mucho amor,
Alicia Yombalakian