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“You’ve More Power to Change Than You Think” Using the Law of Attraction

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Nowadays we read and hear about the law of attraction. There’re materials all over the internet that guide you towards attracting positive things in your life. There’re a large number of experts and gurus that people follow on every social media platform. Many of these techniques work. Maybe not because magic will happen but because you’re being prompted to change your mindset to acquire the thing you want, need, or desire.

When I started pondering upon the law of attraction techniques, I realized that the inner dialogue takes shape guided by the desire of attaining the goal. Therefore, the mental narrative begins to change. You’re changing on the inside to achieve something on the outside.

Can I attain better relationships by using the law of attraction?

Yes. You can. If you wanted to change your mindset to have better relationships it might feel like it’s hard to attain. However, it’s not too different from changing your mindset to receive money, love, or things in life.

Why do I make this comparison? Because it’s all about perspective. The brain feels like changing behaviors to attain something outside of itself or something material it’s not emotionally threatening. However, if you asked your brain to make the same changes to acquire a healthier emotional life it would freak out. Sounds familiar?

In order to bring about change to the quality of your inner life, thinking, feelings, actions, and reactions, you must develop a healthy inner dialogue and build healthier habits than the ones you probably have now. I believe that by positioning your goals for inner change in an emotionally non-threatening way, your inner dialogue, and habits changes can be achieved with more ease.

As an example, instead of telling yourself. I have to stop reacting to my sister! This is driving me crazy! You can ask yourself questions to figure out who would you like to be in your relationship with your sister. Is this the type of relationship I want to have? What are the triggers that I react to? What do I feel when I react? What leads me to react this way?

Asking yourself targeted questions will little by little grant you real answers. You can work with those answers to manage your inner dialogue and your relationships.

With much love,

Alicia

Who dictates my self-value? Is it me, or it’s them?

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This message is especially for people who’ve raised a family and now find themselves with an empty nest. This message is also for people who’re building a family and are unaware of their self-value. This message will help you gain your self-value back and create a better quality of life for yourself and anyone who’s actively learning from you.

After we build a family with someone, we might gather our self-value from him/her. “If my partner values me I am valued if he or she doesn’t, I don’t have much value on my own.” Though this isn’t true for everyone, it’s definitely true for a lot of people.

It might sound unreasonable to consider that we gather our self-value from our loved ones, but we do from birth. Our parents show us with their body language, behavior, and words if we’re “good children” (deserving) or “bad children” (undeserving). School shows us if we’re liked or not liked (if we fit in or don’t). Unless we have an innate understanding of our self-value, we’ll gather our understanding of that value from our environment. When we’re adults and raise a family, it’s no different. Your partner might make you feel like you are valued or not. Your teenager or young adult child might make you feel bad about yourself because you’re “outdated”. However, it’s you who can and should decide your own value as a human being, as a partner, or as a parent. Though change doesn’t happen overnight, it’s surely possible, and here’re some tips to get started.

The very first Step in embracing positive change is awareness.

You can become aware by asking yourself different questions and discerning the answers. For example, the first few questions you can ask yourself to make the very first decision on your self-value are:

  • Should he/she/they decide my human and self-value?
  • Does he/ she/they have the right to assign my self-value?
  • Should he/she/they be the judge of my self-value?
  • What are my rights regarding my own self-value?

After answering these questions you might find that no matter what right or wrong decisions you’ve made in the past in regard to your family, your value should be assigned to yourself by you, by the “adult” you. As an adult, you have the right and the responsibility to care for yourself. You also have the right and the responsibility to right some wrongs in your life. If your parents or schoolmates told you or showed you somehow that you don’t hold a high value or that you don’t deserve good things, it’s important that you became aware that what they showed you was their perception of themselves mirrored unto you. As an adult, you can become aware of the fact that you received what people had within them to give and it wasn’t necessarily healthy or good. However, you do deserve your very best and can embrace positive change right now, with one decision.

You deserve your very best!

If your partner, child, family member, or friend rejects you for any reason, remember that their rejection doesn’t have power over your self-value. I’m not telling you to reject them too or to stop having a relationship with them. I’m telling you that their rejection should not crush your value. Your value lies within your own decision.

A healthy value of myself allows me to set boundaries

When we don’t value ourselves, we tend to hand over that value to someone else. If he/she/they are happy with me, then I’m valued, if the opposite is true then my value decreases. When you find the courage to take charge of your own life and self-value, you can lovingly set boundaries with your loved ones, where you have a say, a right, and the opportunity to establish what you best understand as a boundary. As you communicate with yourself and learn to know what you find healthy or not you can better define those boundaries. Again, they’re not meant to separate you from the ones you love but to enforce self-value. It will help you take the power you gave to others back into your hands. Some examples of boundaries could be:

  • “Please, knock on the door before coming into my room.”
  • “I’d appreciate it if you let me know when you would like to discuss a sensitive subject. I’ll let you know if it’s a good time for me.”
  • “Please refrain to call me names or shout when we talk. If you do this again we might have to continue this conversation at another time.”

The empty nest and my self-value.

We tend to feel empty when we have an empty nest, and that might be happening because we simply miss our children. However, it might also be happening because we’ve invested so much time and effort throughout the years in devoting ourselves to them that we forgot to be an individual. I know that it can be easy to get so busy with life as a mother or father that you forget to take time for yourself. Sometimes, we even hide behind our busy life and stop getting in touch with our own unresolved issues, as well as our needs, desires, or goals.

Whether you have an empty nest or you’re raising your children now, remember to take time in your day for yourself. Even if it’s 15 minutes. Be in touch with your wants, needs, and personal goals.

Here are some things you can do to care for yourself and build a happier path for yourself and concentrate on yourself:

  • Journal and ask yourself questions to better understand yourself and what you really want.
  • Meditate and practice mindfulness.
  • Take one step toward your personal goal each day.
  • Build new relationships
  • Take a class
  • Redecorate your house
  • Go to the gym
  • Seek a support group

Though this can be a longer conversation. You now have some tips to guide you in the right direction toward your self-value while experiencing an empty nest while raising a family. Please take one day at a time, one awareness, one deeper understanding, and one decision at a time toward your very best. Your value is within you and you have the ability and the responsibility to decide it. Take charge of your own life and live your best life yet. You deserve your best!

With much love,

Alicia

A New Beginning For You Now!

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Every New Year, we celebrate the end of a year and a season with hopes of a new opportunity. Right now, I am sitting in my backyard enjoying the best Miami winter breeze and watching the mesmerizing view of the last full moon of 2020.
While looking at the sky I started pondering upon a new beginning for my own life.

What does a new beginning represent in my personal life?

I know that every morning when I wake up I am being granted the opportunity of a new beginning. Yet, I also know that every minute that I get to take that next breath I have the very same opportunity.

Who declares when a new beginning starts?

I do. My new beginning for every area of my life and for all my relationships begins when I decide to make a change. Whatever that change may be. I overate for lunch, I can decide to change my behavior towards food right now. I don’t have to wait until next Monday or January first. I had a disagreement with my loved one? I can forgive and let go. I have an unaccomplished dream? I can start planning on changing it from unaccomplished to accomplished dream or goal.

It is all inside of you. You get to decide what and when to change for your life to be better, healthier, or happier.

Then, why is it so hard to get started? What am I missing?

You need awareness to bring your thoughts and perspectives from automatic habitual thinking to a conscious one. You also need mindfulness, meaning keeping your conscious thinking present in order to act according to those thoughts. Lastly, you need to make that conscious decision to catapult you into making the actual change. I would say to enable yourself the opportunity of your new beginning.

Therefore, remember that change, goals, and new beginnings are all within you and you have the power to control them. You can and you deserve your very best.

Happy New Year!

With much love,

Alicia

The Journey is About You!

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When I ponder about life and try to discern who I am, what I am here for, and what is my purpose, or even define that purpose; one thing I gather for sure is that no matter who I am, what I am here for, what is my purpose, or how finely defined my purpose is, “this journey is about me”.

I love my children with all my being. Being a mother has probably granted me the biggest and deepest form of love. However, it is important to be realistic and know that even if my life affects theirs in a great way, my life is about my journey, about me.

Does that mean that I now have to become selfish?

No! Not at all. This newfound awareness does not serve the purpose of opening the door to selfishness or to become unkind to others. It means that now when you give of yourself, you are more aware that you are doing so as part of your personal journey. My choices good or bad can affect others, but primarily they affect my personal experience. A lot of my choices and consequences are lived physically and sometimes re-lived by my brain, my thinking, and my inner quality of life; all summarized through my “inner-dialogue”.

I live inside my brain 24 hours a day, every day.

My life is experienced inside my brain 24 hours a day, every day. The notion of becoming aware of my personal journey is for me to experience a higher degree of freedom when I make choices, or when life brings circumstances that are hard to experience and go through.

For example, my father had Alzheimer’s and though we are three children, I was the only one who could take care of him. The experience was very traumatizing to me, especially because my dad was an angry abusive person while I was growing up. Also, because I had to take care of him after not seeing him for 10 years. Ten years he did not want to see me. I knock his door several times through those years, and asked him to please see me, forgive me for whatever I had done, which he did not make clear to me; yet to no avail.

Today, six years after his demise, I am still working on the pain of that relationship and the scars it left imprinted in me. However, now I understand more and more that it was part of my personal journey. It was the experience that mixed with my particular personality traits and the rest of my environment was going to shape me into who I am today.

When I think that the hard things that I have gone through in my life so far, have helped me grow into a better, kinder, more compassionate, and thoughtful me. I can clearly see a better version of myself. I can now let go of the anger and pain of having felt like a prisoner of painful circumstances. I can choose to let go of feeling like a victim and experience more peace within me. It was about my journey. It was not a punishment or about God leaving me alone. “Whoever is He who is giving me this breath and my next breath has never once left me alone.”

It is all about you and your journey!

Embrace your life. Find purpose, and value in every breath you take. Experience your personal journey with the best love and peace you know how to experience today. Towards you and toward the people in your world.

If you understand that all you are experiencing in your personal journey, is building you and helping you evolve, you will definitely “stop being a victim to become a victor!”

When you embrace your journey in awareness, you will definitely act more than react to life because it is not about the small picture of today’s difficulty, but the larger picture of a full life well lived and experienced. It is about how you have been shaped throughout your personal journey called life. You do have a say in it. Life may come at you sometimes, but you always have a choice in directing where the experience leads you.

I wish you the very best with love, hope, and peace for your beautiful experience, the gift granted, and your personal journey.

With much love,

Alicia

Nuevo Año! Nuevo Armario!

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Ha comenzado un nuevo año. El 2020 está aquí. Podría ser este año o cualquier otro. Es un nuevo comienzo. El mismo nuevo comienzo que tenemos todos los días e incluso cada minuto. Podemos elegir dejar de hacer algo o hacer algo nuevo. Podemos comenzar una dieta, un nuevo estilo de vida o la búsqueda de un nuevo hábito más saludable. Es muy importante entender que estamos avanzando y que estamos organizados definiendo nuestra necesidad de mantenernos en control. Ese control nos ayuda a sostener el sentido de valor, pertenencia y presencia. Seguramente puede tener un peso importnate en nuestro estado emocional y mental.

A mi me cuesta mucho trabajar en un entorno desordenado, por lo tanto, organizo mi habitación y mi escritorio antes de estudiar o de trabajar. Esto funciona para mi. Tengo la sensación de que es lo mismo para muchas personas. Sin embargo, de repente entro en mi armario y me doy cuenta de que parte de mi organización se basa en guardar cosas en el armario. No puedo ver los artículos que estaban en mi camino antes porque, mientras me organizo, encuentro un lugar para ellos dentro de mi armario.

Comparemos por un momento la habitación y el escritorio organizados con nuestra vida cotidiana y el armario con nuestro ser interior profundo.

¿Qué ves?

Te diré lo que veo. Mi necesidad diaria de funcionamiento la vivo en piloto automático. Comparo mi vida cotidiana con mi habitación y mi escritorio; y a mi armario lo comparo con mi profunda vida de pensamiento interno. De la misma manera, que necesito orden en mi escritorio para trabajar, también necesito orden en mi cerebro para trabajar. Por lo tanto, si surge algún pensamiento difícil o doloroso, los guardo en el armario. Solo tengo que tener el control. Necesito funcionar. No puedo perder mi trabajo, tengo que atender a mi familia, etc.

¿Has considerado lo que le sucede al armario cuando sigues agregando elementos? Es posible que esté acumulando artículos que nunca volverá a usar. Lo mismo podría ser para el armario de mi cerebro. Si sigo almacenando sentimientos, pensamientos importantes que están gritando “resolución” o “dolor” en algún momento, mi mente no tendrá más espacio y podría explotar emocionalmente or fisicamente. Tambien podría ignorar a mis sentimientos.

Mirando mi armario por un momento y teniendo este discernimiento sobre mi yo interior y la relación entre ellos, mi resolución del año nuevo fue prestarle atención lenta y seguramente a mi armario y reorganizarme. Regalare lo que puedo, elegire tirar lo que debo y creare espacio. Con suerte, con una nueva conciencia, usaré el nuevo espacio mejor que antes.

Te invito a que le prestes atención a tu entorno.

Te invito a que le prestes atención a tu entorno. Generalmente habla de nosotros mismos. Es como si nos enviáramos mensajes de alguna manera. Es como si físicamente hiciéramos por fuera lo que eres por dentro. Es muy útil. Solo puedes avanzar ya que no podemos retroceder en el tiempo.

Ahora es el momento de comprometerse con un cambio positivo.

Me comprometo a limpiar lentamente mi armario. También me comprometo a prestar atención a esos pensamientos de “resolución” y “dolor” y trabajar en ellos al igual que en mi armario físico. Elijo regalar lo que no puedo mantener por mí mismo, tirar (hacer las paces y soltar) lo que no funciona y crear un nuevo espacio. En este espacio recién descubierto, intentaré dejar de tirar cosas en el a ciegas y de prisa. En cambio, mantendré un diario donde una sección será especialmente para aquellos pensamientos que me gritan “resoluction” or “dolor” pero con los que no puedo lidiar ahora. Haré citas con ellos para más adelante, pero ya no los ocultaré en mi armario. Soy muy afortunada. Ahora estoy al tanto. Me doy cuenta.

Con gran cariño,

Alicia

New Year! New Closet!

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A new year has started. 2020 is here. It could be this year or any other. It is a new beginning. The very same new beginning we get every day and even every minute. We can choose to stop doing something or do something new. We can begin a diet, a new lifestyle, or the pursuance of a new healthier habit. It is so important to understand that we are moving forward and that we are organized defining our need to keep it together or be in control. That control enables us a sense of value, belonging, and presence. It can surely have a weight on our emotional, and mental state.

I have a hard time working in a messy environment, therefore, I organize my bedroom and desk before studying or working. It works for me. I have a feeling it is the same for many people. Yet, all of a sudden I enter my closet and realize that part of my organization is putting things in the closet. I cannot see the items that were in my way before because as I organize I find a place for them inside my closet.

Let’s compare for a moment the organized room and desk to our everyday thought life and the closet to our deep inner self.

What do you see?

I’ll tell you what I see. My everyday need for functioning is lived on auto-pilot, my everyday thought life is just like my bedroom and desk, and my closet is like my deep inner self-thought life. In the same way, I need order on my desk to work I also need order in my brain to work. Therefore, if any difficult or painful thought comes along, I put them in the closet. I just have to be in control. I need to function. I cannot lose my job, I still have to attend to my family, etc.

Have you considered what happens to the closet when you keep on adding items? You might be hoarding on items you will never ever use again. The same might be to the closet in my brain. If I continue to store feelings, important thoughts that are crying out “resolution” or “pain” at some point my mind will not have any more space and I might implode, explode or I might become nom.

Looking at my closet for a moment and having this discernment about my inner self and the relationship between them made my new year’s resolution be to slowly but surely pay attention to my closet and reorganize, give away what I can, and choose to throw away what I must and create space. Hopefully, with a newfound awareness, I will use the new space better than I did before.

I invite you to pay attention to your surroundings

I invite you to pay attention to your surroundings, they usually speak of ourselves. It is as if we send messages to ourselves somehow. it is as if we physically do on the outside what it is on the inside. It is very useful. You can only move forward since we cannot go back in time.

Now it is time to commit to positive change

I commit to slowly cleaning my closet. I also commit to paying attention to those “resolution” and “pain” thoughts and work on them just like in my physical closet. I Choose to give away what I cannot hold on to by myself, throw away (Make peace and let go) of what is not work holding on to, and make new space. In this newfound space, I will aim to stop throwing stuff into that space blindly and in a hurry. I will instead keep a journal where a section of it will be especially for those crying out thoughts that I cannot deal with now. I will make appointments with them for a later time, but I will no longer hide them in my closet. I am so blessed. I am now aware.

With much love,

Alicia