Have you ever find yourself in that ugly place, where doors are closed for you? Have you tried to pursue or achieve something so much, but it just does not seem to happen? I have surely been in that place. Maybe that is why I call it “ugly” because I have experienced it. In fact there is a part of my life where I am still experiencing it.
There is a typical process we go through when we are in that place. We go through a cycle of hope, we try, we imagine, but it fails. It seems an impossible.
You then get sad or feel down for a while. However, as it is natural in life, you go on with life and put that desire aside or in the back burner, until the next time for some reason your deep desire resurfaces. At which point you will go through this cycle again?
It is hard. Sometimes it is a terribly hard cycle to go through. Depending on what you are seeking, sometimes, it will be heart breaking.
This is the reason I am writing about this today. It is for you and for me. “I want to remind us to not give up.”
I acknowledge that some things are just not meant to be. I agree. However, when do you accept that as a fact? When do you move on? It is very personal.
I say let’s not give up on that dream, that desired, that hope, or that purpose easily. Instead, let’s pursue and pursue until somehow it either works or until you get the “full realization” that it is not for you.
Just do not take the easy way out.
I know that I am using broad terms without examples that you may relate to right now, so I will share my experience as an example.
I was born with what many people say is an amazing, powerful voice. I have never had voice training lessons. My father used to listen to jazz and opera records. I used to sing along.
I very vividly and painfully remember how once, a neighbor offered to pay for private voice lessons for me. He would hear my opera singing from his house.
My father laughed and never took it seriously, He never recognized my voice or talents.
I was discovered in the street by an agent and became a model. My intention was to sing. A year after I finished modeling school my family came to here to the USA and I left everything behind.
Four years after that, I got married to a Kuwaiti national and lived there for many years in his country. Again, my talent was never recognized. I was actually instructed to be quiet and not sing loud because it was a shame for people to hear. I was in love. I had put my burning desire in the back burner. I sang in the care while I drove around whenever I was by myself.
I sadly got divorced 15 years ago. When that took place, I dedicated to work hard and raise my children on my own. I am not sorry whatsoever about that. However, I can tell you that as life took it’s course singing was out of the question. I barely survived financially to even phantom of a singing career.
About a year ago I was invited to a gathering where people sing, narrate poetry and share their talents with each other. A great group of amazing actors, singer and poets.
Every time I sing people comment on my voice and they always tell me: “I cannot believe you are not a professional singer. You need to pursue”
Now, I am 53 years old. I have lost some of my voice range, I feel insecure and still have not been able to get training. I am also pursuing my career as a Life Coach and a motivational speaker.
Nevertheless, I am slowly pursuing my dream. I put one foot in front of the other and walk. Doors are still closed, but I have turn up the heat of my back burner. If it does not work, it will not be because I gave up, but because it was not meant to be.
How much will I invest of myself in this lifelong dream? For right now, I only turn up the heat on the back burner.
My family and career are in the front burner.
It is up to you how you choose to develop this dream or desire, but I encourage you to find courage and pursue.
Babies fall over and over until they walk straight. They do not give up at the sight of failure. so please, don’t you do that either. Take on and take off. Life is a beautiful struggle, very worth living at it’s fullest.
Believe in yourself you deserve it.
With much love,
Alicia Yombalakian
