I want to be positive but I can’t consistently do it. I go from positive to doubtful to fearful and that thing that I am waiting for just does not seem to come. It takes longer than expected to work for me. There are so many more steps that I have to take. If you are anything like me. You start something and hope for something, but somehow, things do not tend to go your way or are just hard to get.
If I remember right while I was in my developmental years I was constantly taught that I do not have much value, I cannot do anything right and surely I cannot amount to much…
I did not realize how harmful this program being downloaded into my brain was up until I was about 40 years of age. The information you are hearing, reading, experiencing creates new pathways in our brains. Therefore, if you heard the wrong things and of course through the wrong things since you were very young, That is all there is; unless you purposely recognize the unhealthy thoughts and change them for healthy new ones.
My friend takes work! It does but is well worth it. The Bible says that we are what we think and it is so true. You surely cannot give what you do not have. Not to others and not to yourself. If you believe wrong you think wrong and act wrong.
Please translate this next example to your own experience to make it work for you.
I was a little girl daughter of a poor frustrated angry daddy, who had standards that I would never ever ever ever, no matter whatever reach. His choice of words unto me was. “Alicia, you are good for nothing, you will never do anything right”. What do you think I grew up thinking? Yeah, exactly that.
Deep inside of me was the knowledge that I can’t achieve. Why? Because I am good for nothing, therefore, I have no value. Who will love someone who is good for nothing? Who will value someone who was never taught what the proper value of people is?
So I became many things, like a people pleaser. I think that if I didn’t get out of my way to please everyone on my path I might have had less good friends and a lot less dishonest ones. Anyway, I worked on it and I do continue to work on it. By using this awesome brain God gave me and a bit of work on my part. I simply catch myself in the act and tell myself that this thought is wrong and sometimes I say this thought is a lie, it is just no accurate and I replace it for a healthy one. Once you start living a healthier inner life, your decisions, behaviors, and choices will be healthier and your perspective about everything in life will be better.
I encourage you to be honest with yourself and recognize where you are putting yourself down or treating yourself with a lower standard than you deserve. You cannot go back to see where it started or who’s fault it is. That will not prosper you.
When you forgive and let you heal. Please let him, she or them go, forgive them and love yourself. You are still breathing. The one who provides you your every breath right now still has a purpose for you and He wants to heal you. I truly believe so.
Even if others do not value you as you deserve to be valued, God values you! He sent us His son Jesus Christ (John 3:16) that we may cross the bridge between this world of sin and evil to His Kingdom of perfect Love. Through this bridge, you also have access to His grace, healing, peace, joy and more. It is all yours. Now that is what you deserve. Seek God and grab it. Do not hesitate. Just go for it and change the quality of your inner life.