I want to be positive but I can’t consistently do it. I go from positive to doubtful to fearful and that thing that I am waiting for just does not seem to come. It takes longer than expected to work for me. There are so many more steps that I have to take. If you are anything like me. You start something and hope for something, but somehow, things do not tend to go your way or are just hard to get.
If I remember right while I was in my developmental years I was constantly taught that I do not have much value, I cannot do anything right, and surely I cannot amount to much…
I did not realize how harmful this program being downloaded into my brain was up until I was about 40 years of age. The information you are hearing, reading, and experiencing creates new pathways in your brain. Therefore, if you heard the wrong things and of course through the wrong things since you were very young, That is all there is; unless you purposely recognize the unhealthy thoughts and change them for healthy new ones.
My friend takes work! It does but is well worth it. The Bible says that we are what we think and it is so true. You surely cannot give what you do not have. Not to others and not to yourself. If you believe wrong you think wrong and act wrong.
Please translate this next example to your own experience to make it work for you.
I was a little girl daughter of a poor frustrated angry daddy, who had standards that I would never ever ever ever, no matter whatever reach. His choice of words unto me was. “Alicia, you are good for nothing, you will never do anything right”. What do you think I grew up thinking? Yeah, exactly that.
Deep inside of me was the knowledge that I can’t achieve. Why? Because I am good for nothing, therefore, I have no value. Who will love someone who is good for nothing? Who will value someone who was never taught what the proper value of people is?
So I became many things, like a people pleaser. I think that if I didn’t get out of my way to please everyone on my path I might have had fewer good friends and a lot fewer dishonest ones. Anyway, I worked on it and I do continue to work on it. By using this awesome brain God gave me a bit of work on my part. I simply catch myself in the act and tell myself that this thought is wrong and sometimes I say this thought is a lie, it is just not accurate and I replace it with a healthy one. Once you start living a healthier inner life, your decisions, behaviors, and choices will be healthier and your perspective about everything in life will be better.
I encourage you to be honest with yourself and recognize where you are putting yourself down or treating yourself with a lower standard than you deserve. You can’t go back in time to change what’s already happened and you might not be able to find out where it started or who’s at fault. Staying stuck in the past that you can’t change will not prosper you.
When you forgive it lets you heal. Please let him, her, or them go, forgive them, and love yourself. I acknowledge that forgiving is a process and it cannot be done in a moment’s time, however, I do know that you can make the decision right now that start walking on that path. The same goes for loving yourself. It’s a journey to embrace, but you can decide now to start walking it. You are still breathing. The one who provides you your every breath right now still has a purpose for you and He wants to heal you. I truly believe so.
Even if others do not value you as you deserve to be valued, God values you! Looking up to that higher power for support when we feel weak tends to initiate the path to a strength we believe we don’t have within us on our own. I encourage you to become aware of your options for healing and simply make the decision to start that journey, because there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and nobody can change you but you.
Someone may have hurt you in ways that you feel you cannot come back from. You might feel rejected by others, so you reject yourself too. Yet, I want you to know that you have more strength and resilience within you than may be apparent. You don’t deserve rejection and hurt. You do deserve your best and it’s within the grasp of your own decisions to offer yourself all the best you can. You got this!
With much love,